This is a personal matter, but actually I have a report to make.
Hello, this is Koyama.
I know this is personal,today
I have a little report to share.
Writing about my private life at length in a newsletteris not something I normally do,
but it is a turning point in my life, so I will write it down.
For me,I have lived with a neutral stance toward marriage,
not necessarily actively avoiding it.
In the autumn of 2019, I decided to start looking for a partner.
I wasn’t someone who had always wanted to marry.
That said, I didn’t deliberately avoid marriage either.
When it comes to marriage,
I have lived with a neutral attitude toward it.
Yet, as time passed,
I found myself turning over 40and still single.
And yet I wasn’t particularly concerned,
but a certain mangamoved my heart.
The manga is
“What Happens When a 31-Year-Old Game Programmer Starts Dating”
It’s said to be based on true stories,
and it is about a programmer manstruggling with dating.
The protagonist looks at himself,
and while correcting various things
faces dating head-on,
and he makes admirable efforts, doesn’t he?
Reading it, I was inspired.
I thought,
“It’s not right to stay single by doing nothing.”
So I decided to start dating.
I didn’t want to regret later,
“If only I had acted back then.”
So I thought,
“If I don’t find a good match within 2019, I’ll quit dating.”
That was my mindset.
Soon after I began,I learned a certain fact.
In the dating industry’s common sense, men over 40
face difficulties, it seems.
Even if a child is conceived right away,
by the time they reach adulthood, the dad will be 60 years old.
“That’s a bit…,”
and they tend to be wary.
“A 40-something guy is already too late,”
I thought,
but once I started,I was grateful and
found more offers than I expected.
Many of them showed interest in my income as well.
It felt that way, anyway.
“Huh, is it money-oriented?”
Some people might have that negative impression.
But I treated “financial power”
and “intelligence” or “kind personality”
as equal魅力 elements,
and I didn’t feel any aversion to that.
Among the people who approached me,
I met with someone who seemed a good match.
“Meeting many people is important,” the manga taught me,
and accordingly, until the end of the year,
I actively went on many dates.
Registering for dating sites isn’t free, and referrals cost money each time.
And dining at the dating company’s designated spots costs money, of course.
As a result,
I think I spent over 1 million yen in total,
but it was worth it.
As I had decided from the start, by the end of 2019
I ended the dating phase,
but I began a tentative relationship with one person I met.
(A tentative relationship is a system defined by the dating company.)
In 2020, because of COVID-19,
until June, we couldn’t meet for a while.
We lived a little far apart,
and to avoid any risk,
we kept a long-distance relationship for a while.
Afterward, the state of emergency was lifted,
and inter-prefectural travel restrictions were lifted,
at that momentwe decided to live together with the intention of marriage.
A new life began.
The decision last autumn greatly changed my life.
What I realized through dating is
the importance of simply starting.
Doing something like meeting a woman for the first time can be unfamiliar,
and I even got sick for a while,
since it’s human to have difficulties.
But when you sum it all up,
I truly feel it was worth taking action.
Of course, it’s also true because I met one special woman,
but
even if there hadn’t been a good match,
taking a step into a new world would have left no regrets.
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The First Step
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Diving into a new world is, for many people,
a scary thing.
The situation of “not knowing what lies ahead” makes people the most anxious.
Many may be unable to move forward due to the fear of the unknown.
But, but… people make excuses and run away.
That is human nature.
What about you?
Are you running away from something right now?
Do you have something you really want to do,
but make excuses to avoid it?
Place your hand on your chest and acknowledge it,
and for the sake of the future, take a small step forward.
Even a first step of 1 millimeter or 1 centimeter is enough.
Starting with something very simple is important.
Humans are strange creatures in that
once you start, you feel uneasy about stopping partway.
In discussions about psychology,
they say,
“If you say yes at first,you’ll be more likely to say yes to later requests.”
But people seek consistency,
so
no matter how small, taking that first step is crucial.
The first step is worth 100 steps.
You may think, “It’s too late to start now,”
but you won’t know until you try.
Even a 41-year-old man said to be “at a disadvantage for marriage”
found wonderful encounters.
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A Cool Way of Living
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Come to think of it, recently,
on YouTube I watched a video by a comedian named Jinai Tomonori (Jinai Tomonori) about
a man who, after being laid off and in debt, despaired of life and contemplated ending it, only to be counseled by a cicada on a tree.
It’s a skit where mixing humor with sorrow and melancholy,
various emotions blend together.
Within it,
“We cicadas, you know, even if we know we’ll die today, we persevere until the end.”
(From Jinai Tomonori [Cartoon: A Week of a Cicada])
That kind of line appeared.
It’s just a skit, but the attitude of living fully until the very last moment is truly impressive, isn’t it?
Even if you think, “It’s too late to start now,”there are stories of people who begin and are moved.
So please enjoy until the end today as well.
Thank you for watching.
Keizo Shimozawa
