Marital collapse, actually that was the biggest cause.
Hello, this is Kusuyama.
I talked last time about attending a marriage-mind dating party,
and about marriage
I have been thinking about it more realistically.
As long as you get married,
of course you don’t want to divorce, but
for that,what is important?
Looks and kindness,
I think everyone has a different set of criteria they look for in a partner…
For me,in the end,
“whether it feels comfortable to be together.”
I think so.
Rather than just looking at various conditions for each other and choosing,
if you can choose based on how comfortable it is to be together,that would be ideal.
If you choose based on criteria alone,
I feel you’ll end up breaking up in the end.
However,regarding marriage,there are these findings.
A survey of 2,800 couples in the United States found the biggest factor cracking marriages was identified.
The factor is…
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Jeffrey D. Dew, Associate Professor in the Family, Consumer, and Human Development Department at Utah Valley University,
analyzed the national survey of families and households conducted with 2,800 American couples.
The biggest contributing factor to the breakdown of marriage is
“money problems.”
*Source:
https://moneytimes.jp/relationship/detail/id=1180
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Money problems, huh.
People say, “Even if you don’t have money, as long as there is love,”
but in reality,
money issues
often trigger the collapse of a marriage.
There’s no doubt that having money is better than not having it.
And,speaking from experience in dating,
it feels like many women place emphasis on a man’s income.
In the previous newsletter,I talked about attending a dating party,
and about signing up as a premium member,but
I also registered on a dating app in parallel.
“Well, not many applications will come, I thought,”
butthere was more response than I expected.
I don’t know why,but probably due to income level
many seem to be interested.
In the item for yearly income,
there is an option up to “20,000,000 yen or more,”
and since I have over 20,000,000 yen,
perhaps that’s why I’m getting messages.
Looking at the ages of those who message me,
older women seem to be more strict about income.
Readers of this newsletter are probably more men, but
if your relationship with your wife isn’t going well,
money problems may actually be the root cause.
As income increases, various problems may be resolved,
so for those wanting to improve their relationship with their wife,
increasing income even a little may be the fastest route.
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Daily dating
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I talked about dating apps, but
the response to dating requests exceeded my expectations, so
I decided to meet people proactively.
I’m free every day, so I have plenty of time (laughs).
That said,I won’t accept without setting any criteria,
or it becomes anyone’s,
and I don’t think that leads to good matches.
So I narrowed down what I look for in a partner to two things.
・Non-smokers
・Polite language
These are the two criteria I look for in a partner.
Not smoking,and not using rude language
as prerequisites,I hope to meet someone who is comfortable to be with.
With that in mind, I used the dating app anddated women who contacted me.
However, I still couldn’t find someone who truly fit.
The first woman I met on a date also didn’t match what I was seeking.
On the app,faces aren’t shown.
Instead, there’s a field“Which celebrity are you similar to?”
as an item.
I wrote“Takashi Yokoyama of the Giants”
in that field,
and when I looked at the women’s profiles,
they listed Haruka Ayase,Satomi Ishihara,Yuriko Yoshitaka,
and other famous stars.
The first woman I met also had a famous actor’s name listed.
But when we actually met, she didn’t resemble them at all.
Well, I suppose that’s how it goes for both sides.
That’s how it is.
Self-reported celebrity resemblance isn’t reliable (laughs).
But,looks aren’t the most important, so
putting that aside,
one thing that really bothered me was the way she spoke.
“That’s not right,”like that.
Of course there’s no perfect partner,
and both sides have things we have to endure,
which is natural, but,
however,
・Non-smokers
・Not speaking rude
these two conditions are non-negotiable.
So the first person I met didn’t suit me.
=======================
Know when to cut your losses
=======================Rather than regretting after not taking action,
regardless of the outcome,it’s better to act.
That was the mindset when I started dating,
but since I heard that “quantity matters,”
I continued to meet as many people as possible.
However,I don’t intend to drag this out.
I’ll keep active for about the rest of the year,
and if there aren’t good matches,I’ll cut my losses.
The stock market is the same,
If you drag things out in stock trading,things don’t end well.
A quick aside, in stock trading
when using “margin trading,”
the holding period is set to six months.
When six months comes,forced liquidation occurs.
In contrast,
some people think, “Wouldn’t it be better to have no settlement deadline and earn more?”
but
it’s the opposite.
Most peopleend up holding onto a losing position indefinitely without a deadline,
becoming fodder for “burying in salt” stocks.
When trading stocks,
there are always periods when prices decline.
If you encounter such a period even once,
you cling to the faint hope that “it will recover someday,”
and end up dragging losses,
losing most of your capital.
Indeed,using margin trading
and being bound by a six-month holding period
reduces trading freedom, but
that can be a safety net.
For me,the six-month deadline
isn’t a constraint,
but rather a limiter for emergencies.
From dating tostock discussions,
the bottom line is both requirenot to drag things out.
Will I find a marriage partner by the end of the year?
I’ll report on that another time.
Thank you for reading to the end today as well.
Keizo Shimoyama