[Morning Monologue] "Focus on the good points" "Not getting angry = there's no need to use anger" "Freedom is to be disliked by others" [Ways of thinking and values]
Focus on the good points
Focus on what exists
“Focus” is a katakana word meaning “to concentrate,” “to pay attention,” “to adjust the focus,” or “to bring into focus,” and is used similarly to its English meaning.
“From sorry to thank you”
“Sorry for being late” → “Thank you for waiting for me”
From The Courage to Be Disliked by Diamond,
What is true freedom?
You just said you do not want to be disliked by anyone, and that there is literally no one who wants to be disliked on purpose.
Yes.
I feel the same. I do not wish to be disliked by others.
Saying “there is no one who wishes to be disliked on purpose” is a keen insight.
Nevertheless, regardless of our efforts, some people will dislike me and some will dislike you.
This is also a fact.
In Adlerian psychology, “all problems are interpersonal problems.”
In other words, we seek freedom from interpersonal relationships and freedom within them.
However, living alone in the universe is absolutely impossible.
If you think this far, the conclusion of what is freedom becomes obvious.
What is it?
In short, “freedom is being disliked by others.”
What did you say?!?
If you are disliked by someone, that is proof you are exercising your freedom and living freely, and that you are following your own principles.
I-I see, but still…
Indeed, being disliked is painful. I would rather live without being disliked by anyone. I want to satisfy the need for approval. But living in a way to avoid disapproval from everyone is extremely limiting and, at the same time, impossible.
To exercise freedom, there is a cost. And the cost of freedom in interpersonal relationships is being disliked by others.
Do not fear being disliked
If you do not care about others' opinions, and you do not fear being disliked, and you may not receive approval…
unless you pay that cost, you cannot stay true to your way of living.
[Guiding Star]
When you try to choose freedom, you may get lost along the way.
As long as you do not lose that compass, you will be fine.
Move in this direction and there will be happiness.
That is the grand ideal.
That is “contributing to others.”
No matter what moment you are living, even if there are people who dislike you, as long as you do not lose sight of the guiding star “to contribute to others,” you will not waver, and you can do anything.
Disliked by some, and free to live as you wish.
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