Chapter 1 [Back Part]: The Urge of the Market and the Baptism of N-values and E-values

VII. Saizeriya's Two-Person Meal and the Warmth of Green Peas

Several months had passed since the agony of the bonus vanishing, and on a weekend evening at dusk I sat at a table with my son at Saizeriya near the station.

On the table were Milano-style doria, warm soft green pea salad, spicy chicken, and glasses from the drink bar. "We can order a bunch of cheap things and share them without hesitation" — that was our simple, most of all comforting special time as a parent and child.

"Dad, these green peas are tasty! Can I eat the chicken too?"

"Yes, eat as much as you like."

Watching my son's face moving the spoon with an untroubled smile, my chest gradually grew warm.

(What on earth had I hoped to gain from the market...?))

Did I intend to fatten the numbers on the screen to strike it rich overnight, to indulge in flashy luxury?

No. It was obviously not so.

All I wanted was a "firm foundation" on weekends like this, where I could laugh freely with my child and support their future dreams without any constraints.

VIII. A Quiet Pledge as a Father

Gazing at the warm steam rising from the Milano-style doria, I confronted myself in my own heart.

I, who squandered a few tens of thousands of yen in bonus in a single night and choked on cold rice balls in a company car, realized this was the natural retribution for underestimating the market, for becoming arrogant that “I could easily pick winning trades.”

"Do not think you can win in the market with intuition or shallow theories.

Do not ever hide the pain of losing.

As a father who protects his children's smiles, I must never again place funds at risk with reckless gambling."

Scooping the remaining green peas onto my mouth from the plate, I silently and firmly vowed in the depths of my heart.

To grow money in the market is not a game.

It is a serious, gritty "challenge for survival" to safeguard my family's livelihood and future.

IX. The Vanishing of Pride and the Door to the Next Chapter

After returning home, in the deep of night when the family slept.

In the study, I slowly leafed through pages of notes I had kept so far.

Calculations of N and E values drawn by my own hands. Notes of entries I believed must have an upper limit that caused massive losses. Traces of my foolish self who thought I understood the market from a narrow self-taught perspective were there.

"Just staring at the screen alone and worrying will never reach the essence of the market.

Throw away all pride and relearn from the scratch alongside the fierce veterans who continue to fight the turbulent waves of the market."

I opened the PC and clicked the join button for a Discord investment community. On the screen's other side, traders gathering there were testing Dow Theory, horizontals, and price action night after night, truly facing the market.

The era of lonely self-study and shallow theories had ended.

From here, a voyage into the endlessly muddy labyrinth of technicals began, as I pursued real skill and dove in doggedly.