100% I am the cause. Even if betrayed by others, I think it is my fault. How the brain uses itself from a neuroscience perspective.
This is a continuation from here. First, I recommend reading from this point.
Even if you are betrayed by someone, don’t blame others
Horiemon, known as Takafumi Horie, also holds this view.
『The Courage to Belong: Takafumi Horie』
I still hear people say things like, “In the Livedoor incident, you were betrayed by your subordinates, right?” I see, that’s how people who only skim the surface of things interpret it, and I strangely accept that.
However, in reality I do not interpret it as being betrayed at all.
No matter how wrong the other party’s logic was, or how morally off it was, the other person has their own logic, and there’s nothing we can properly fault them for.
That’s how I summarize the Livedoor case.
First of all, someone who would betray you should not be kept close to you. In society, rather than increasing trust in others, professionals should work on sharpening their “deliberation power” to scrutinize humanity.
End.
Even if betrayed, you can think that it was because you kept someone who would betray close to you, and you were lacking judgment.
From a neuroscience perspective too, this is a way to prevent painful memories from becoming long-term memoriesIt is also a way.
Cognitive scientists (functional neuroscience, cognitive psychology, analysis) PhD, Carnegie Mellon University
Quoted from 『Techniques to Erase Unpleasant Feelings』
Betrayal is something the other party does intentionally.
If the other party intentionally does it, indeed the bad person may be the other person, but the real cause lies in oneself.
It may sound a bit harsh, but it is your fault; you did something wrong.
When I say it’s my fault here, it’s because the betrayal happened within the relationship between the other person and myself, and wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been there.
It’s not just the other person’s problem; it certainly involves me as well.
That said, it doesn’t mean you deserve blame.
Suppose you’re the president and a trusted employee embezzles company money.
To form a higher-level Gestalt at the next abstract level, instead of snarling at the other person with “I can’t forgive you!”, first turn toward yourself and think, “Maybe this is my fault.”
Then consider, “Why did I hire that person? Next time I will look more carefully at the candidate,” and think of ways to prevent it.
Introspection beginning with “Maybe it’s my fault” involves looking at and evaluating yourself objectively.
Everything you think at that time becomes the evaluation of the prefrontal cortex.
On the other hand, the Gestalt of emotion like “This person is unforgivable!” contains no evaluation by the prefrontal cortex.
If you leave it as is, the Gestalt of “I don’t want this experience!” hardens, and the emotions “unforgivable, unforgivable, unforgivable” repeat infinitely.
Therefore, ask yourself, “Why did that ‘unpleasant’ arise?” or “Next time, how can I prevent it?” and engage the prefrontal cortex to evaluate the experience.
Interestingly, as you repeatedly evaluate unpleasant experiences and engage the prefrontal cortex, the emotions of “unforgivable!” and “I don’t want it!” gradually calm down.
If you want to feel the effect, try this whenever any unpleasant event happens nearby.
As in being robbed, having a bitter quarrel, or hurting someone you should treat kindly...
This is the simplest and most effective way to prevent emotionally aversive experiences from becoming traumatic memories or long-term memories.
End of quotation.
The term “abstraction level” is a neologism coined by Dr. Tomabechi.
For those unfamiliar with the term or neologisms, it might be hard to understand at first, but here is the key point.
Instead of getting angry at the other person, first turn toward yourself and think, “Maybe this is my fault.”
Introspection beginning with “Maybe it’s my fault” involves looking at oneself objectively
This becomes the evaluation by the prefrontal cortex
Soon, anger and other emotions settle down.
The human brain can be broadly divided into two parts.
The brainstem, the animal brain at the core, and the human brain surrounding it.
And which of these two becomes dominant depends.
Anger and emotional responses are the work of the animal brain.
The prefrontal cortex is the function of the human brain.
Engaging the prefrontal cortex means prioritizing the human brain.
By doing so, the animal brain that drives anger and other emotions subsides as part of the brain’s mechanism.
The prefrontal cortex has been scientifically proven to be strengthened by meditation.
I recommend meditation, but strengthening the prefrontal cortex is also beneficial to enable this way of thinking to flow smoothly, so I recommend it.
Summary of this time
Even if betrayed, do not blame the other person
If the other person intentionally did it, indeed the other person may be bad, but the root cause lies in oneself.
It’s not just the other person’s problem; it always involves me as well.
That said, this does not mean you should be blamed.
Instead of getting angry at the other person, first turn toward yourself and think, “Maybe this is my fault.”
“Maybe this is my fault,” and look at yourself objectively
Ask yourself, “Next time, how can I prevent this?” and engage the prefrontal cortex to evaluate the experience
This thinking is,
the simplest way to prevent emotionally aversive experiences from becoming traumatic memories and to not store them as long-term memories
for your own benefit
To be continued.
Next story →The true meaning of money that doesn’t cause fights
Happy wealthy people do not get angry or hold grudges against others
They reflect on themselves and improve their own faults
The mindset of a prosperous magnate
